The Alchemy of Desire Read online

  He grabbed his pack and ran downstairs. Cager stood outside the boardinghouse, immersed in conversation with Jim. Diah fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. “Boat here yet?”

  “Just pulling in now. Glad you decided to wake up in time to join us, little brother. I was just about to head up there to get you.”

  “Oni was supposed to wake me.”

  “I haven’t seen her this morning.”

  Jim looked away and Diah frowned. The old man knew something he wasn’t telling them.

  Cager lifted a bulky, carefully wrapped bundle. “Do you think this is going to work?”

  “I don’t know why not,” Jim replied. “Diah bleached it until it’s as white as snow, and you and Oni cast enough spells on it to make it seem magical. It should fool this Lamont character long enough to get your money and get him off your tail.”

  “I certainly hope so. I have to admit, Oni had a good idea.” Cager hoisted the fake white-buffalo pelt over his shoulder. “I’m going to head down to the dock. You coming?”

  “Just a minute. I want to find Oni.”

  Jim cleared his throat. “She left about half an hour ago, son. Said for me to give her goodbyes.”

  “What do you mean, she left?” Diah’s heart sank into his stomach.

  “Couldn’t bear to see you go, so she thought it better to leave before the boat got here.”

  Cager dropped the bundle. “You mean you didn’t ask her, Diah?”

  He shook his head. Ice water ran through his veins and he wondered if he’d ever feel warm again.

  “Of all the big idiots out there, you’re probably the worst. You’ve had plenty of time to ask her. Or were you too busy fucking her to remember to do that?”

  “Watch your language, Cager. That’s my niece you’re talking about.” Jim turned to Diah. “What were you going to ask her?”

  He stared out the main gate at the river. “Which way did she go, Jim?”

  Her uncle crossed his arms. “And why should I tell you?”

  “Because if I can’t find her and bring her back before the boat leaves, you’re going to have me for a guest all winter.”

  Jim laughed. “I don’t know if I can handle the both of you, especially after hearing all that ruckus y’all made last night. She’s gone up to the dugout. If you push your horse, you should be able to catch her in time.”

  “Thanks, Jim.” Diah ran to the stable and ignored Charley’s protests while he threw a saddle on his horse and tightened the buckles as fast as he could. He would deal with the stable owner when he got back.

  Cager came in as he mounted. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? She’s made her choice and it’s probably for the best.”

  “You’re wrong.” He jerked the horse’s head around to the door. “I can’t leave without her, Cager, and I’m not going to let her slip away without at least trying to convince her to come with me. Try to hold the boat as long as you can.” His horse tore through the fort and out into the open prairie.

  Oni’s horse plodded over the slush-covered hills, but her numb body ignored the cold wind. What a strange reversal. I was so happy this morning lying in Diah’s arms and now I feel like I’ll never know joy again. Sometimes she wondered if it would have been better if the curse of the White Buffalo had consumed her, so she wouldn’t have to deal with this heartache.

  A set of hooves thundered behind her, growing louder as the rider approached. She looked over her shoulder and saw Diah racing towards her. There was no mistaking his bright red hair.

  “Oni, wait up,” he shouted. He jerked the reins so hard that when he came beside her, his horse almost threw him from the saddle. “I’m so glad I found you.”

  “You’re going to miss your boat, Diah.”

  “I—” He looked away and tried to catch his breath. “I wanted to ask you something before I left.”

  “What?”

  Impatience welled up inside her. Was he trying to torture her down the last possible second?

  “Oni, what are you going to do over the winter?”

  “Fend for myself, like I always do.” She kicked her horse forward, but he grasped her reins.

  “Is that what you want to do?”

  “What I want and what I have to do are two separate things. Now let go of my horse so you can make your boat before it leaves and I can make it back to Jim’s before dark.” She yanked on the leather straps in his hands, but they didn’t budge.

  “No, please give me a chance… Shit, I don’t know how to say this.”

  “Then don’t say it.”

  Pain flickered across his face and she hoped he felt just a fraction of the agony that ripped her body right now.

  “You’re probably trying to tell me goodbye, that you enjoyed our moments together, but you’re going home now. And you’ll probably add something like you’ll never forget me, to make me feel better about you leaving. But in all honesty, I left the fort early for a reason. I didn’t want to end things like this.”

  His brows knitted together. “No, Oni, that’s not what I was going to say, but if that’s the way you feel…”

  Her hands clenched. “Then say what you wanted to say and get back to the river.”

  When he looked at her with those sad blue eyes, her heart wrenched. Damn it, why did I have to hurt him? She was about to apologize when he said, “Do you love me?”

  Her chin quivered and she wondered if she could answer him without bawling. She nodded.

  “Then why are you running away from me?”

  She took a deep breath and swallowed her grief. “I could ask you the same thing.”

  He ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up so it stood on end. “This is not what I was trying to say. How did we get off on this topic?”

  Her fingers itched to smooth his hair out, but she resisted the urge. “I don’t know. You started it.”

  “I’ve never done this kind of thing before, Oni, so just please let me get this out before you interrupt me again.” Sweat beaded on his forehead and his Adam’s apple bobbed in the middle of his throat.

  What had him so nervous? Her mind immediately filled with the worst, but she found the courage to say, “Go ahead.”

  “I was wondering if you would like to meet my mother. She’s a bit old-fashioned, of course. I would have to introduce you as—” his voice caught, and he inhaled and exhaled before finishing his sentence, “—as my wife.”

  The horizon wobbled in front of her and Diah caught her elbow as she slid off her horse. Stars above, did she hear him right?

  He jumped down from his saddle and held her in his arms. “Oni, are you going faint on me?”

  She shook her head, although she still felt dizzy from the shock. “Are you sure you want to marry someone like me? What will people say?”

  “I don’t give a damn what they say. If the people back in Mississippi have a problem with us, then we can make a life for ourselves out here.”

  “But what about your mother and sister? Would you be willing to leave them alone?”

  A small frown creased lines into his face for a second before he nodded. “Cager’s right—they can take care of themselves. You’ve shown me how capable a woman could be and they don’t need me as much I thought they did. Hannah has her debut in May and will probably be married soon and, from the looks of things, our neighbor wants to make Mom the next Mrs. Pembroke. It’s time I started living my own life.”

  “But it’s your home.”

  His arms tightened around her in an embrace so fierce, it took her breath away. “Anywhere is home, Oni, so long as you love me.”

  She searched his face, wondering if their love would be enough to withstand the challenges ahead of them. Behind the fear and tension, she could see the love he felt for her in his expression. He knew what she was, both on the surface and hidden deep inside, and he still wanted to marry her. Perhaps he was being naively optimistic, but just by chasing her down, he’d proved he was willing to fight to
keep her.

  Her chest tightened as though her love for him threatened to make her heart burst. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his. Heat rushed through her to the tips of her fingers and toes as his tongue coaxed hers into his mouth and danced around it. The wetness pooled between her legs, and she was tempted to throw him to the ground and make love to him right then and there.

  When the kiss ended, he smiled and stroked her cheek. “So, it that a yes?”

  She laughed and tears of joy streaked down her face. “Yes, Diah, I would like to meet your mother as your wife.”

  He wiped the tears away. “Sorry. I guess I should’ve been a bit more to the point. We need to catch the boat first. We can stop in St. Louis and get married before we get back to Vicksburg, if that sounds good to you.” He pressed his lips against her forehead and her heart pounded. He loved her and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

  “Yes, that sounds wonderful to me.” She pulled away and mounted her horse.

  They raced back to the fort as fast as their horses could carry them. Jim ran forward to take their reins when they got to the dock. “Better hurry—they’re pulling in the gangplank now.”

  Oni hugged her uncle. “We’re getting married.”

  “Don’t you have that a bit reversed, son? Ain’t she supposed to meet your mamma before the wedding?”

  Diah grabbed her hand and pulled her to the boat. “Maybe, but in the end, she’s going to be my wife and that’s all I care about.”

  The paddle wheel churned the muddy water, and the gap between the railing and the shore widened. They ran and leaped for the boat. Diah made it easily, but only the tips of her toes caught the edge of the deck. She fell back, but two pairs of arms grabbed her and pulled her aboard.

  “I hear congratulations are in order,” Cager said as he guided her away from the railing.

  “Not too outraged to have me in the family?” Her first test to see how others would react to the news.

  Cager’s eyes flickered between her and Diah. She could almost feel his hesitation echoing through the space around them. After a few tense seconds, he shook his head. “I don’t think anyone else will make my brother happy and that’s all the matters.”

  She smiled at him. If Cager was willing to accept her into the family, then maybe things would be better than she expected.

  He shook Diah’s hand. “You’re sure you want to settle down with one woman the rest of your life?”

  Diah grinned. “Only if she’s one in a million.” He took Oni’s hand and kissed it. “I know I’ve found her. Now, if you’ll excuse us, I think we need to inspect our cabin.”

  The lust in his eyes excited her and she wondered how much of the day they’d spend in bed. Even after last night, she still hungered for him.

  “Just try and keep it down. You’re not married yet.”

  Diah chuckled as he led her down the hall. “It’s just a matter of a few words,” he said over his shoulder.

  When they came to their cabin, he picked her up in his arms and tossed her on the bed in a mad dash to remove his clothes.

  She bit her bottom lip and grinned while she waited for him to do the same to hers. Once they were both naked, he crawled into bed and hovered over her. “Now, where did we leave off this morning?”

  She pulled his face to hers and his kiss muffled the moan that formed in her throat when they fell back against the pillows. His lips traveled over her skin and Oni smiled as she cherished the love that came along once in a Coyote Moon.

  Author’s Note

  The coyote stories told by Oni and Jim are based on actual Native American legends.

  About the Author

  Growing up in small-town Alabama, Crista relied on storytelling as a natural way for her to pass the time and keep her two younger sisters entertained.

  She currently lives in the Seattle area with her husband and daughter, maintaining her alter ego of mild-mannered physician by day while she continues to pursue writing on nights and weekends. Her writing has won more than 20 awards.

  Just for laughs, here are some of the jobs she’s had in order to pay the bills: barista, bartender, sommelier, stagehand, actress, morgue attendant and autopsy assistant.

  And she’s also a recovering LARPer. (She blames it on her crazy college days.)

  For the latest updates and to learn more, please check out her webpage at www.cristamchugh.com.

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  ISBN: 978-1-4268-9150-2

  Copyright © 2011 by Crista McHugh

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  All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

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