The Alchemy of Desire Read online

  “What are things unseen?”

  “I believe the line from Shakespeare is, ‘There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.’ They’re thankfully rare. Let’s hope we don’t run into any of those things along the way.”

  Images of ghosts filled his mind. His curiosity increased, but not enough to know more about these unseen things. At the same time, he discovered another layer to Oni. How was a half-breed familiar enough with Hamlet to quote it?

  “Tell me, Diah, are you a Wielder like your brother?” Her question jerked him from his thoughts.

  “What makes you think he’s a Wielder?”

  “I’ve been around long enough to recognize orichalcum when I see it, although I find it a bit strange he would disguise his wand as a gun.”

  So much for keeping that a secret. Was there anything she hadn’t discovered about them? “Cager prefers people don’t know.”

  “Understandable. But you never answered my question.”

  “Why do you want to know?”

  “I want to know what I’ll have with me out there. Best to be prepared, after all.”

  “What do you think I am?” Maybe he was being a bit of an ass, but he wanted to challenge her.

  She leaned forward and reached for his hands. He flinched when her warm fingertips brushed them, and she paused. “Does this make you uncomfortable?”

  Uncomfortable didn’t begin to describe it. The heat flowed from his skin and settled in his crotch, creating a type of painful pleasure. She shouldn’t have this effect on him. Maybe there was some truth in Cager’s accusations that he had denied himself the company of women for too long. He didn’t trust his voice so he shook his head.

  She cupped her hands around his and gently pried them apart, using a massaging motion. Each stroke of her thumbs created a rush that ended up as a throb below his belt. Once she had his palm exposed, she traced the lines on it and rubbed the few calluses on his fingers. Then she lifted his hands to her face. For brief second, the desire to have her suck on his fingers filled his mind, which did little to help soothe his raging hard-on.

  She sniffed his fingertips. “You’ve been making black fire, Diah.”

  “What makes you say that?” He snatched his hands back and pushed his desire for her to the most remote corner of his mind.

  Her eyes glittered with amusement, and he wasn’t sure if it was because she had guessed correctly, or if she’d seen the evidence of his attraction to her. “I can smell it.”

  He held his fingers up to his nose. A faint sulfuric odor wafted from them. “I’m surprised you can identify it.”

  “You never forget the scent of black fire once you’ve smelled it ignited.”

  A flashback from the war slammed into him, burning his nostrils as he remembered the scores of burned bodies strewn across the battlefield. He struggled to keep focused on their conversation. “Does your tribe make it?” As far as he knew, alchemy was a strictly old-world science.

  Oni shook her head. “No, I smelled it after I left the tribal lands.”

  “And how old were you then?”

  “Six. My mother had remarried and her new husband didn’t like the idea I was half white. He was more than happy to offer me to a group of missionaries in Kansas who wanted to educate savages.”

  “So the Sioux feel the same way about half-breeds?”

  Her hand clenched into a white-knuckled fist, and he realized too late that he had touched upon a sensitive subject. “I suppose you could say that,” she said in a flat voice. “I ran away from the mission school when I was fourteen.”

  “What did you do after that?”

  “I wandered around.” The blood flowed back into her fingers, returning them to their normal bronzed color. “Getting jobs as a guide here and there. Things like that.”

  Diah wondered what other things she had done to get by. There weren’t that many respectable occupations for women out here, especially for someone like her. “Why didn’t you settle down and get married like most women do?”

  Once again, she stared at him in confusion. “Do you really think it’s as simple as that?”

  “You’re an attractive woman. Surely you’ve had men want to marry you.”

  “None that I would want to marry. Besides, most men see me as the type to fool around with, not marry. I’m cattle, remember.”

  “I don’t see you that way.” Damn, I didn’t mean for that to slip out. “I mean, you’re a person, not an animal.”

  She propped her elbow on the table and rested her chin in her palm. Half a minute passed in silence while she scrutinized him. “You’re a rare man, Diah.”

  “Nah, I just…” He just what? Saw the intelligence in her face? Heard the pain in her voice? Felt something stir within him every time she touched him? Wondered how her lips would taste?

  Damn it, I shouldn’t be thinking such things about someone I just met.

  Low laughter rumbled from her throat and she rose from her chair. “I think I’ve bothered you long enough.”

  He jumped to his feet. “You’ve been no bother at all, Oni. In fact, I’m glad I had the chance to get to know you a bit better.” He offered her his arm. “May I escort you back to your room?”

  She tilted her head and grinned as she slipped her arm through his. “To the door, and no farther.”

  “I didn’t mean to imply—”

  “I know. You’re just trying to be a gentleman. I guess I’m not used to being treated like a lady.”

  The walk down the hallway seemed too short, and they stood in front of her door sooner than he would’ve liked.

  Oni unwound her arm and looked up at him expectantly, like she wanted something else from him. “Do you really think I’m attractive?” He didn’t have a chance to answer. She leaned forward and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Never mind. Good night, Diah, and thank you for a nice evening.”

  He waited until he heard the click of her lock before he brought his hand up to where her lips had touched his skin. What had possessed her to do that? As he walked back to his room, he wondered if she felt a fraction of the desire that he did.

  Chapter Four

  Oni ran her hand over her hair to tuck away any strays and smoothed out the wrinkles in her skirt.

  It had been three days since they left St. Joseph, and she hadn’t seen Diah since that first night. She normally preferred solitude. It was better than the stares she attracted in the larger eastern towns. But he was the first person who didn’t treat her like she was some sort of animal. If he only knew.

  A beam of moonlight fell on her skin when she passed a window. The pull was getting stronger, but she couldn’t give in to it tonight. A lone coyote wandering around the boat wouldn’t go unnoticed.

  She poised her hand in front of the door and took a deep breath before she knocked three times. Her heart fluttered as she waited.

  This was ridiculous. She was a woman of twenty-six, not a silly little girl, but she couldn’t explain why she craved his attention.

  No answer came from their room. Her courage faltered. She was about to turn and leave when she heard footsteps.

  Diah cracked the door open and his blue eyes widened. “Oni, what are you doing here?”

  “I, um…” She peeked past his broad shoulders and saw the complex apparatus of vials and tubes that filled the center of the room. “I was curious about alchemy.” She knew how weak her explanation sounded, and the way he pressed his lips together showed he wasn’t convinced by it, either.

  But he opened the door wider and ushered her in. “Sorry about the mess.”

  Oni tiptoed around the setup, pulling her skirt close to her legs so it wouldn’t brush against anything. She’d seen the destruction black fire caused, and the last thing she wanted to do was spill it and cause an explosion. “Are you almost done making the black fire?”

  He rubbed the stubble on his cheek. Between the fatigue in his face and his wrinkled clothes, he
looked like he hadn’t slept since she saw him last. “Yeah, I was getting ready to bottle it.”

  “Can I help?”

  “If you promise to be careful.” Diah held up a large triangular glass bottle containing a thick black liquid. Iridescent waves of orange and red rolled through the murky depths. “It can still be a bit unstable at this point and I don’t want you getting hurt.” He carefully set the bottle down on the table and handed her a pair of leather gloves similar to the ones he wore.

  “Your concern is appreciated.” And unexpected.

  Diah avoided meeting her gaze, but his cheeks become the same color as his hair. He pulled out a box of vials. “I’ll transfer the liquid and you put the stoppers in. The trick is to coat them with wax to get a good seal. Watch me.”

  For a man his size, he handled the equipment with the dexterity of a fiddle player. He pulled a small amount of the black fire into a long pipette and transferred it to a vial that was smaller than her hand. Then he took a piece of wax, ran the end through an open flame three times to soften it, and rubbed it around the sides of the stopper before inserting it into the opening of the vial.

  He held the finished vial up to the gaslight overhead. “Ideally, you want as little air as possible in there. It will help protect the integrity of the black fire.” He gave it to her so she could inspect it. The bottom of the glass stopper grazed the surface of the liquid. “On the other hand, you don’t want to overfill it, or you’ll get a nasty mess when you put the stopper in.”

  “How do you know how much to put in?”

  Diah held out the pipette for her. “See that line scratched into the side? That’s my marker. Any other questions?”

  Oni picked up the wax in one hand and a stopper in the other. “Let’s get started.”

  He grinned at her and began filling the vials so quickly that she had a difficult time keeping up with him. After they’d done about ten of them, she adjusted to his pace and felt comfortable enough to resume the conversation. “How long have you been an alchemist?”

  Her question threw a hitch in his rhythm so he waited until he recovered before he answered it. “Eighteen years. When my father realized I wasn’t a Wielder like my brother and sister, he asked me what I wanted to do with my life. He had a friend in Oxford who was an alchemist. I always loved going over to his house to watch him make potions. I told him I wanted to pursue that career, and so I was apprenticed to Professor Geary when I was ten.”

  “How far was Oxford from your home?”

  “A few hours by train.”

  “It must have been difficult to be separated from your family at that age.”

  Diah paused and scrunched his brows together. “Yes and no. I missed my family, if that’s what you mean, but at the same time, it felt good to get out of Cager’s shadow. At times, I think my father was embarrassed that I wasn’t a Wielder, like I was some kind of accident. He kept expecting me to be like him and Cager. Besides, Professor Geary was a wonderful teacher and I discovered something I was good at.”

  “Surely your father must have been proud of you when he realized what a talented alchemist you’d become. Not many possess the skill to make black fire.”

  “I suppose he was.”

  “He never told you?”

  “My father wasn’t one to let his feelings be known.”

  An odd twinge pulled at her chest. She knew what it was like to be the odd child in the family, but she hesitated telling him that much. “Do you have a lab back home?”

  He handed her the next vial and tilted the flask to the side so it would be easier to draw the remaining black fire up into the pipette. “A small one. Not as big as I would like, but in order to have that, I would need to be a professor at a university.”

  “Why not become a professor?”

  “I was on track to become one, but my studies got interrupted.”

  “What happened?”

  “The war.” His expression hardened. “Professor Geary was well connected with the Union army, and my father was worried I might be enticed to that side. He dragged me home when Mississippi seceded.”

  “And were you?”

  Diah made a noise the sounded like a half laugh. “I had a huge argument with him and ran away to join the Union army. When I came back home, he’d passed away.”

  Oni’s heart ached for him, and she reached out to place her gloved hand over his. “I’m sorry to hear that. The war’s been over for seven years, though. Maybe you should think about resuming your studies.”

  He stared at her hand. “Someone needs to look after my mom and my sister, and Cager’s never been the stay-at-home type.” He withdrew his hand and resumed filling the last of the vials.

  She watched him silently. His guilt held him back from pursuing what he wanted. She doubted she could ever be capable of such self-sacrifice.

  Cager burst into the room as she placed the stopper into the last vial. “Damn jealous husbands!”

  Diah chuckled and began disassembling the apparatus. “Maybe if you stayed away from married women, you wouldn’t have to deal with them.”

  “It’s not my fault they throw themselves at me.” He hung his hat on a peg and loosened his tie. “I think I’m going to spend the rest of the night in here, if you don’t mind.” He looked at her and then back to his brother. “Unless you two would prefer to be alone.”

  Diah’s face reddened. “Oni was just helping me bottle the black fire.”

  As soon his back was to her, she snatched three vials and stuffed them in her pocket before she lost her nerve. There were so many on the table, she doubted they would miss them. Besides, they might prove useful to her later, if only to sell them for food money. She stood, eager to leave before they realized what she’d done. “If you want me to leave, I understand.”

  Cager waved her down. “No, please stay. No need to deprive Diah of your company, especially since he’s been talking nonstop about you since we left St. Joseph.”

  “Cager!” A flask slipped from Diah’s fingers, and he fumbled to catch it before it shattered on the floor.

  The flush crept through her body. Had he been talking about her in a good way or a bad way? Funny how he didn’t want her to know about it, though. Now she was curious to find out more about his feelings for her. When she caught his attention, she smiled.

  His mouth curled up to mirror hers before he looked away. “You know, we’d have a lot more room if you’d help me break this down and pack it away.” Oni moved to help him, but he shooed her away. “Not you, Oni. You’re our guest.”

  “But there’s no need to for me sit back and watch you two do all the work.” She began loosening the bolts and sliding the tubes out of their harnesses. It took the three of them less than ten minutes to clear the table and pack away his equipment.

  After the last flask had been tucked away, Diah latched the small trunk closed. “I’m going to go get some food. Oni, would you care to join me for dinner?”

  “Oh, that’s kind of you, little brother. Go to the dining room and leave me here to starve.” Cager leaned back in his chair and propped his feet on the table, his bottom lip jutting out in a fake pout.

  Diah rolled his eyes. “Fine, Cager. Since you were kind enough to have food sent to me while I was working, I suppose I could do the same. Hell, I might be better off staying in the room tonight too. I must look awful.”

  Cager’s pout turned into a grin. “Well, I wasn’t going to say anything, but you could do with a shave and change of clothes.”

  Diah rubbed the stubble on his face again and grimaced. He was still handsome, in her opinion, even with a little bit of scruff on his cheeks. “I suppose you’re right.”

  “I don’t mind getting the food,” Oni said.

  “Thank you, Oni.” Cager reached into his pocket and pulled out a deck of cards. “Just have them charge it to our room. And if you can get me a bottle of scotch to go with it, I’d be grateful, since it sounds like I’m going to spend the rest of th
e trip in here.”

  Diah scowled, and when he began sharpening his razor, she slipped out of the room. Although the waiter assured her he would deliver the meals and the bottle of scotch to the room, she waited on the fringe of the dining room to give Diah some privacy. Her mind wandered and she imagined how his freshly shaven cheeks would feel if she kissed him. Would he still smell faintly of soap?

  Her skin grew warm, and when the waiter returned with the plates, she practically raced him down the hallway. Cager answered the door. Behind him, she glimpsed Diah putting on his shirt and her breath caught. His chest and stomach appeared to be carved out of solid rock like a sculpted marble statue. She marveled at how his muscles flexed in harmony with the simple motion. But when he saw her watching him, he turned away to finish buttoning it, leaving her disappointed that she couldn’t continue to watch from the doorway. She should’ve known he was the bashful type. Oni gave Diah a few seconds to tuck his shirt in before she entered and sat at the table.

  After the waiter efficiently cleared the cart and disappeared, Cager poured two glasses of scotch and held the bottle over a third glass. “Would you care for some, Oni?”

  “Why not?” It had been a while since she’d had a drink and, with the way her thoughts were going tonight, she might need one. She took a sip and savored how it burned down her throat.

  “How much black fire did you make, Diah?”

  “About thirty vials—more than enough for our purposes. This batch seemed a bit smaller than usual, though. Must be due to something I did.”

  Oni’s hand curled around the three vials in her pocket. She hadn’t expected him to miss them. Guilt tugged at her conscience for a moment before she shrugged it off.

  “I’m just glad to have them in case we run into any trouble out there.” Cager turned to her and she snapped her hand back up to her plate. “Diah said you mentioned something about ‘things unseen.’”

  She nodded. “Are you familiar with the term?”

  He frowned. “Yes.”

  “What are y’all talking about?” Diah’s eyes flickered back and forth between them.